Short Stack

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Now
Today is a day
Like no other day
The sun is shining
And these chicks are fly
Dark brown hair
And dramatic eyes
Bright white shirts
Killer thighs
Let me back it up
And let me paint a picture
Dining solo for some brunch
Stuff myself until dinner
But, I already ate
So why am I here?
Well, I hear the women here
Can be quite austere
Sophisticated alt. girls
Art hoes, the lot
You can call me King Arthur
Baby, this is Camelot
Down my mimosa
I'm on round two
And I strut up to the ladies
All squished in the booth
Coffee on the breath
I get real close
"Hey pretty mama
May I be so verbose?"
"Your booty's so ubiquitous
Lemme get a look at this
Great day for God
Carving your gluteus"
They call me short stack
I'm a short stack king
Topped with maple syrup
As I'm doing my thing
They call me short stack
I'm a short stack king
(They call me short stack
I'm a short stack king)
They call me short stack
Caught your girl snacking
Slippin' on this butter
At the bottom of the inning
(Baseball mention!)
They call me short stack
I'm a short stack king
(They call me short stack
I'm a short stack king)
I'm surrounded by tens, man
They can't get enough of me
Posting me on socials
And laughing hysterically
Out of the corner of my eye
Hazel, if you're wondering
There's this freak of a guy
Tall, sad and pondering
They call me Long King cuz I'm 6'2"
Your girl lookin' at me like
"Whatchu wanna do?"
Can't you see I'm eating bacon and eggs?
I can't just leave this behind
To get between your legs
Granted, I haven't got
Some action in a while
These days short kings
Are only worth your while
Women hate tall men, now
It's blatantly apparent
I can't help that my size is repellent
My self-worth has been rocked
Just being transparent
And my height has robbed me of a wife
I'll never be a parent
(Get short, ***!
Women don't like that Jolly Green Giant
Fifth-wave feminism girls ain't reliant
On the tall boys—They don't like 'em no mo'
They can't get enough of that Finsta Mofo
What's up, big fella?
Hey, what's the weather like??
Did these ladies go and
Put you on your bike?
Shortness is attractive:
I can fit inside her pocket
Not my fault your lady has my
Likeness in her locket
They call me short stack
I'm a short stack king
Topped with maple syrup
As I'm doing my thing
They call me short stack
I'm a short stack king
(They call me short stack
I'm a short stack king)
They call me short stack
Caught your girl snacking
Slippin' on this butter
At the bottom of the inning
They call me short stack
I'm a short stack king
(They call me short stack
I'm a short stack king)
Oh yeah
It's time for the short kings
And the tall ladies
To dance the night away
It doesn't matter if you're 5'1", 4'9"
Hell, it doesn't matter if you're 4'2"
Because I've been looking forward to
Getting your clothes off on the floor
Baby, c'mon
You can be short
But your thing can be long
They call me short stack
I'm a short stack king
Topped with maple syrup
As I'm doing my thing
They call me short stack
I'm a short stack king
(Short stack, short stack
Short stack, short stack)
They call me short stack
Caught your girl snacking
Slippin' on this butter
At the bottom of the inning
They call me short stack
I'm a short stack king
(Short stack, short stack
Short stack, short stack)
But not in my pants